For the groom who wrote his vows as a list
Alexis, you know I think in lists, so here are my vows, itemized. One: I promise to love you loudly in private and proudly in public, never the reverse. Two: I promise that your grandmother’s dumpling recipe dies with us — I will never leak it, even under interrogation from your cousins. Three: on your worst days, I will not try to fix you; I will bring snacks and shut up, as trained. Four: I will keep learning you, because eight years in, you still surprise me weekly. Five — and this one’s binding, no amendments: I will be yours, entirely, in every version of our life, for the rest of mine. Terms accepted the day I met you. Signed today, in front of everyone.
Why it works: The list format matches how he actually thinks, and the escalation from jokes to the binding final item gives it a real arc.
Customize it: Rewrite the five items with your own mix — two funny, two specific to her, one unmistakably forever.